I get onto my computer everyday and I
always see the Blog icon on my desktop and say to myself that today I will
write a new blog. Then I make my
coffee and sit down to do my morning devotions and reading. After that it turns
into making some breakfast, which includes one or two episodes of “Friends”
(which I am currently binge watching).
By that time I realize I need to make my bed, clean up the hut and
complete a workout. Once that is
all complete it is time to wash up, heat the water, set up the shower, and
complete the whole process of PCV bucket baths. So, 3 hours later I am finally done, but then I look at the
time and have to be at the school for either a boys club meeting, girls club
meeting, library meeting, preschool meeting or some other event that I always
forget is going on. So I prepare
for those and then it’s out the door.
So you see why I have not got around to the new blog.
When
I return home you think evening time is a good time to write a blog. Well, once I get home I usually lay in
my hammock to relax and this includes another one or two episodes of some show,
play a little Gameboy Super Mario, or continue my conquest of Game of
Thrones book series (Finally on book 4 and only started a year ago). It
slowly begins to get dark and the sun is setting so I start some dinner and
another quick clean up of my hut cause it gets dirty here! Sitting down to eat
a nice home cooked meal, which I have to say I am getting very creative and the
fresh fruit and veggies here are amazing to get in the market each week. Dinner is complete and time to wash
dishes from the day and empty all the wastewater. Whenever I go to throw the dirty water outside in the dark I
walk behind my hut and toss the bucket and think one day someone is going to be
standing there and will throw all my water all over my sisi, make or babe. That will be the day. Time to filter
some water, brush the teeth, get warm clothes on and crawl into my sleeping bag
in the hammock to slowly fall asleep to one of the two-hundred movies I have on
my hard drive. So there you go
again, you see why blogging always gets pushed back, the long version.
These
last few months I have been learning a lot more about the country of Swaziland
the relationship between their culture and certain behaviors. I also continue to learn more about
myself pertaining to God, friends, my actions, and what has shaped me to be who
I am today. When you travel and
experience various cultures you realize there is multiple layers to culture and
foreigners tend to only experience and observe that outer layer. The crust and what people want others
to see. It is the first
impressions, the cover of a book, or the outside of a cake. It all looks good on the outside, to
some, but what is underneath is the genuine experience of something. I have experienced this with Swaziland
and myself.
We
just completed the first ever BRO (Boys Reaching Out) Camp in Swaziland and had
28 boys from all over Swaziland attend.
It was an amazing 5-day experience run by PCVs and local Swazi
counterparts. The boys learned
about gender equality, relationships, communication, HIV/AIDS education, and
how to be helpers and leaders in their communities and schools when they go
back home. It was a rewarding
experience to see the boys grow throughout the week and come together as
friends and a support system to one another. There is an issue of gender inequality here in Swaziland and
gender norms and stereotypes that create an unequal balance in many areas of
Swaziland. To be a man you own
cattle, build things, the main provider of the family and protect your
family. You also have multiple
wives or girlfriends, make the rules and have the final say in decisions, and
can do whatever you like. Some
women are oppressed because of this and lack power and decision making in
relationships, especially when it comes to sexual relationships. Women are objectified and you can see
this when you walk through the bus rank and some men are “cat calling” or
grabbing hands or just giving that second glance as a girl walks by. Peace Corps currently has GLOW (Girls
Leading Our World) camps and clubs all over Swaziland that is teaching women to
be empowered, an individual, leadership skills and self-esteem building. It is an amazing club and I currently
have a GLOW and BRO club at my high school and the students are all amazing
with their own unique story. Our
goal with these clubs is to bridge this gap of inequality between genders and
create an empowered nation to realize the full potential of both men and women
working together. There is nothing
wrong with a man staying home to take care of the children while the wife goes
to work. A relationship is a partnership
and good communication is necessary if you want anything to grow, especially a
country.
This
is only scratching the surface of what I have experienced here in Swaziland
under that top layer of vibrant colors, traditional dance, the food and
spectacular scenery. I have also
learned more about that inner layer of myself while serving here in Swaziland
with the Peace Corps. This
experience is coming up to the halfway mark of service and in 2 short weeks I
will have been living in Swaziland Africa for a whole year. A group of new volunteers arrives here
at the end of June right before our awesome 4th of July party. Get ready for a ride of a lifetime. There have been ups and downs, and more
downs, with a small up, and down again but then that moment where you are back
on top and it was all worth it.
Emotions of sadness, homesick, lost, happy, ecstatic, overwhelmed, in
awe, scared, worried, ashamed, embarrassed, joyful, breathtaking, shall I go
on? I think every emotion in the
world you can experience being a PCV in two short years wherever you go. I sure have felt a lot of them
already. My crust has been leading
me around Swaziland sometimes and it just shows people what they want to see,
or what we want people to see. It
has worked sometimes but as an individual we need to not be worried about
showing that broken, unpleasing crust to people. We need to be letting them experience that goodness and joy
that comes from inside us. Not
everyone likes the coconut filling and it is not for them, but others it is
exactly what they are looking for or need. That is how we need to be and make decisions based on what
comes from inside us, not what people want to see. We are all made up of layers and it is choosing the right
layer to show to people and experience.
It is also not being worried of your own inner layer and what people
think of it. Being here in
Swaziland I have failed at this, we all have at some point in our lives, but
the important thing is to check your self and ask why am I really doing this. I believe that it is something God does
for us and puts events, people or situations in our lives to stop and look
inside and question ourselves.
You
can look on the outside and see an amazing country and beautiful individual but
sometimes we all need to stop and look inside and really study ourselves. What matters is how we react and change
to these things and show people who and what we are and believe in. Not everyone will like it, not everyone
will like change, change is hard, but in the end this is what matters. Swaziland will always have a place
inside me, all the good, the bad and the ugly and beautiful. Bring on the 2nd and final
year of Peace Corps Swaziland.
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