Why We Do What We Do

           I get onto my computer everyday and I always see the Blog icon on my desktop and say to myself that today I will write a new blog.  Then I make my coffee and sit down to do my morning devotions and reading. After that it turns into making some breakfast, which includes one or two episodes of “Friends” (which I am currently binge watching).  By that time I realize I need to make my bed, clean up the hut and complete a workout.  Once that is all complete it is time to wash up, heat the water, set up the shower, and complete the whole process of PCV bucket baths.  So, 3 hours later I am finally done, but then I look at the time and have to be at the school for either a boys club meeting, girls club meeting, library meeting, preschool meeting or some other event that I always forget is going on.  So I prepare for those and then it’s out the door.  So you see why I have not got around to the new blog.

         When I return home you think evening time is a good time to write a blog.  Well, once I get home I usually lay in my hammock to relax and this includes another one or two episodes of some show, play a little Gameboy Super Mario, or continue my conquest of Game of Thrones book series (Finally on book 4 and only started a year ago). It slowly begins to get dark and the sun is setting so I start some dinner and another quick clean up of my hut cause it gets dirty here! Sitting down to eat a nice home cooked meal, which I have to say I am getting very creative and the fresh fruit and veggies here are amazing to get in the market each week.  Dinner is complete and time to wash dishes from the day and empty all the wastewater.  Whenever I go to throw the dirty water outside in the dark I walk behind my hut and toss the bucket and think one day someone is going to be standing there and will throw all my water all over my sisi, make or babe.  That will be the day. Time to filter some water, brush the teeth, get warm clothes on and crawl into my sleeping bag in the hammock to slowly fall asleep to one of the two-hundred movies I have on my hard drive.  So there you go again, you see why blogging always gets pushed back, the long version.

         These last few months I have been learning a lot more about the country of Swaziland the relationship between their culture and certain behaviors.  I also continue to learn more about myself pertaining to God, friends, my actions, and what has shaped me to be who I am today.  When you travel and experience various cultures you realize there is multiple layers to culture and foreigners tend to only experience and observe that outer layer.  The crust and what people want others to see.  It is the first impressions, the cover of a book, or the outside of a cake.  It all looks good on the outside, to some, but what is underneath is the genuine experience of something.  I have experienced this with Swaziland and myself.

         We just completed the first ever BRO (Boys Reaching Out) Camp in Swaziland and had 28 boys from all over Swaziland attend.  It was an amazing 5-day experience run by PCVs and local Swazi counterparts.  The boys learned about gender equality, relationships, communication, HIV/AIDS education, and how to be helpers and leaders in their communities and schools when they go back home.  It was a rewarding experience to see the boys grow throughout the week and come together as friends and a support system to one another.  There is an issue of gender inequality here in Swaziland and gender norms and stereotypes that create an unequal balance in many areas of Swaziland.  To be a man you own cattle, build things, the main provider of the family and protect your family.  You also have multiple wives or girlfriends, make the rules and have the final say in decisions, and can do whatever you like.  Some women are oppressed because of this and lack power and decision making in relationships, especially when it comes to sexual relationships.  Women are objectified and you can see this when you walk through the bus rank and some men are “cat calling” or grabbing hands or just giving that second glance as a girl walks by.  Peace Corps currently has GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) camps and clubs all over Swaziland that is teaching women to be empowered, an individual, leadership skills and self-esteem building.  It is an amazing club and I currently have a GLOW and BRO club at my high school and the students are all amazing with their own unique story.  Our goal with these clubs is to bridge this gap of inequality between genders and create an empowered nation to realize the full potential of both men and women working together.  There is nothing wrong with a man staying home to take care of the children while the wife goes to work.  A relationship is a partnership and good communication is necessary if you want anything to grow, especially a country.

         This is only scratching the surface of what I have experienced here in Swaziland under that top layer of vibrant colors, traditional dance, the food and spectacular scenery.  I have also learned more about that inner layer of myself while serving here in Swaziland with the Peace Corps.  This experience is coming up to the halfway mark of service and in 2 short weeks I will have been living in Swaziland Africa for a whole year.  A group of new volunteers arrives here at the end of June right before our awesome 4^th of July party.  Get ready for a ride of a lifetime.  There have been ups and downs, and more downs, with a small up, and down again but then that moment where you are back on top and it was all worth it.  Emotions of sadness, homesick, lost, happy, ecstatic, overwhelmed, in awe, scared, worried, ashamed, embarrassed, joyful, breathtaking, shall I go on?  I think every emotion in the world you can experience being a PCV in two short years wherever you go.  I sure have felt a lot of them already.  My crust has been leading me around Swaziland sometimes and it just shows people what they want to see, or what we want people to see.  It has worked sometimes but as an individual we need to not be worried about showing that broken, unpleasing crust to people.  We need to be letting them experience that goodness and joy that comes from inside us.  Not everyone likes the coconut filling and it is not for them, but others it is exactly what they are looking for or need.  That is how we need to be and make decisions based on what comes from inside us, not what people want to see.  We are all made up of layers and it is choosing the right layer to show to people and experience.  It is also not being worried of your own inner layer and what people think of it.  Being here in Swaziland I have failed at this, we all have at some point in our lives, but the important thing is to check your self and ask why am I really doing this.  I believe that it is something God does for us and puts events, people or situations in our lives to stop and look inside and question ourselves.

         You can look on the outside and see an amazing country and beautiful individual but sometimes we all need to stop and look inside and really study ourselves.  What matters is how we react and change to these things and show people who and what we are and believe in.  Not everyone will like it, not everyone will like change, change is hard, but in the end this is what matters.  Swaziland will always have a place inside me, all the good, the bad and the ugly and beautiful.  Bring on the 2^nd and final year of Peace Corps Swaziland.

Top of Sibebe Rock in Swaziland

An Adventure a Day

       Since our last meeting I have been busy in the Kingdom of Swaziland.  Well as busy as we can get living here as a PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer).  I was able to teach a few life skills classes with the students at the high school, conduct interviews and surveys to learn more about my community, completed our IST (In-Service Training), and started the planning stages of some projects to introduce in my community and the schools.  There has been a pig roast, farewell party at the high school with lots of dancing and singing, playing card games with my bhuti “brother” that I don’t understand, and the private screening of Frozen in my hut with my bobhuti “brother’s” and sisi “sister”.  Everyday is an adventure, everyday is something new and everyday is a learning experience.

         The relationships continue to grow in my community and I am feeling more comfortable with my work, my family and the community.  I think the more you accept that in-order to live and learn, we need to be uncomfortable, this creates more of a sense of comfort for us at the end of the day.  I never know what to expect when I wake up each day, but I know that God prepares the way for me and that whatever I set out to do he has prepared that path for me.  It can be from the days I just ask Him for smooth and safe travels to Manzini, that the bus arrives that day, to the days when I walk to the school and ask Him to bring me just one person today.  Sometimes He decides though that someone is going to teach me something that day, the young child running by me saying “Hello Celimbilo” as the bell rings at the school, or my Babe “father” yelling outside my door just to ask me how I am at 8pm at night.  I enjoy every moment of it and have to just thank God everyday that this is real life.

         It has been almost 5 months now that I have left home to start this adventure here in the Kingdom of Swaziland (maybe a little history lesson and culture lesson is in store for Swaziland in the next blog), time has been flying by and sometimes I don’t know if 2 years is enough time.  A little bit on some things we are working on with the schools and my community are boys and girls clubs, getting a library together, income generating projects with my family and the community, and good hygiene practices.  That could all change tomorrow though so I just continue to ride this ride.  You cannot force something and do things the way we Americans think things should be done, it also takes 100 times longer to get something done here, it’s just the Swazi way.  I kind of like it, “if it can be done today, it usually can be done tomorrow.”  It holds some truth to it. 

         On the PCV side of things we celebrated our 1^st successful Halloween here in Swaziland, the people here don’t understand this holiday, but neither do we really.  It was held at a local backpackers lodge near Mbabane (the country capital) with almost all 100 of us volunteers who are in country right now.  Our first and only hopefully IST (In-Service Training) was completed and was a good way to get re-motivated to go back to our communities “guns blazing” typical American style…that didn’t last long.  Nonetheless, it was all great information for us to help in our communities.  Thanksgiving planning has begun and will be hosted by our CD (Country Director) at his house with all the volunteers.  Christmas is in the works currently and spending the holidays together as a volunteer community and family.  New Years is going to be spent sitting on the beach looking out into the Indian Ocean in Durban, South Africa…doesn’t get much better than that.  January the schools will be starting up again and hopefully all the planning and learning about projects can be put into action.

         The process though is not over, there is no really set plan for a volunteer and it is a constant planning, evaluating and learning process for the next 2 years.  The most important thing is to learn how to listen, observe and just be available.  Some projects may be a great success, but others will fail and it is learning what happened, re-evaluating and trying again.  Relationships are essential in successful integration and success of projects, starting those is the difficult thing sometimes, but nurturing the relationship we make is what makes it rewarding.  Seeing others grow along with you, sharing cross culture experiences, ideas and lessons, ultimately improving both of us in one way or another.  The stories continue, friendships made, adventures had, and living each day as a blessing from God, just walking this path of life.

Students participating in traditional dance